It worked

It worked! It worked! The babysitter came back... on time, called me at work, picked up the phone when I called, did lots of stuff around the house. And I talked to her too. She tried to tell me something and I interrupted. I realized afterwards and I was sorry about it... so two days later I asked her about it. I think she felt heard, it's never too late to be nice and acknowledge your mistakes.

I decided that I don't need a big discussion, just small things every day, just don't forget to communicate. And I will use the advice they give for dieting: if one day things are not going well, not everything is gone, just start over the day after.

I wish I had a God that I can pray to to give me power to keep this going, but I'm afraid I will have to go through this alone and carry all the burden LOL.