Jan 21, 2007

Random thoughts in the middle of the night

I did not go away, I just had a very long day yesterday. We went and saw a show in NYC - A Chorus Line. We loved it!

Going to NY is exhausting and of course I need to make out of it more than it really is, so it's also emotionally exhausting. It was cold and traveling with a 13 months old in the train and then subway its an adventure in itself, but for me, the adventure started the night before with thinking about all the disastrous scenarios: what if I will get lost, the baby will lose his hat, I will need to ask for help, I will need to call my husband and admit that I am lost, I will need to ask strangers to help with the stroller, how do you get a stroller through the subway doors anyway, and how should I behave with these people that I'm seeing once a year and know nothing about. They are all nice and I'd like to be nice to them, but what is there to talk?

It all went smoothly, and yes I asked that stranger for help, and he helped, and I asked for help in Penn station and I was guided the wrong way, and I think I did ok with "these people that I only meet once a year" even though I didn't say much, nor shared intimacies.

That being said, I am back to waking up every night at 3 AM or 3:30 AM, but I am not exhausted yet.

And I told 3 more people, getting the total count of people that know about this website to 5. I am now annoyed that nobody is having any comments. I added anonymous comments, so please comment. I have a plan to add some outside players: people that don't know me, but write about social anxiety. I'm curious where this will go.

And just to let you know, I have a draft of "what my dream is" in work, I will likely post it one of these days...

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