Jan 29, 2007

Now I'm public... maybe

Paul Levy made me public. And if you wonder how I feel about it, I feel pretty bad. The kind of bad that makes you talk to yourself in the parking lot and laugh out loud all alone. I felt very embarassed. And the only reason I am out here is that the online environment is allowing me to cool down before saying anything. I am frightened and excited, and maybe this is my blog's moment of glory.

Paul just publicly announced his salary yesterday, a figure that left me breathless for a couple of minutes. I was feeling comfortable knowing that a guy that earns that much wouldn't think twice about a too shy person... oh well, in his blog he asked people to visit mine... and asked me to install my statistics counter. I am not going to install the statistics counter, not tonight. I will be in the comfort of the fact that there are no comments and maybe there are too many interesting things on the web for anyone to pay attention to me.

[ETA: Just to be clear, Paul offered to put a link to my blog and I took his offer. I am very grateful for his outreaching out to me. It is the nature of social anxiety that the emotional responses to any kind of exposure are very strong. I think it was important to acknowledge and face my emotions. At a rational level, I fully understand that creating this blog, having a link to it from another place or even having the whole world see it is a big thing only for me.]

Now enough about my embarasment, I am going to use the free publicity to talk about a subject dear to my heart: preeclampsia. It's almost 4 years since we lost our first son to this disease and the weeks to follow will be quite difficult for us. They are much less difficult now that we have a happy and healthy baby then they were 2 and 3 years ago, but we will always remember our Angel.


Anonymous said...

I think you should install the statistics counter, you would be surprised at how many people might end up on your website. Your profile counter is at 31 - so probably over 300 people have visited this page already.

Anonymous said...

Good for you for taking your blog public. I hope you will be pleasantly surprised by goodwill from strangers like me.

What were your favorite books? I agree that people who like the same things especially if a bit unusual might have something in common.

Anonymous said...

You are a very interesting person. With each experience with people you will develop stronger social muscles. How do I know? Because you've already survived the single most difficult event in life. The woman who can do that -- who can go on to have another baby, or even just get out of bed everyday -- can really do anything. I hope you keep track of your progress on this blog because it will be very interesting to see. I picture you "lifting weights" -- each experience making you a little stronger.

With great respect, Monique