Jun 3, 2007

People go to Disneyland for this kind of excitement

You like Disneyland, don't you? All the fun unexpected cool stuff that you see and feel, the fear and excitement of roller coasters, waiting in line discussing about the next experience, the different atmosphere and environment then in real life.

I don't need to go to Disneyland for this. Roller coasters make me dizzy and I'm not easily getting into the it's fun time mood. All I need to do is go to a medical facility. I am strange, very strange, extremely strange.

I find it fun to notice what's good and what's not, I like to see good changes, I get all upset if something is not good. I find interacting with medical personnel as exciting as a roller coaster: the anxiety over meeting someone new, the possibility of an interesting conversation, the possibility of discovering or learning something new about me, the pleasure of learning new words that I can Google at home. I can then make new connections about my body and feed the hypochondriac in me. Then the failure of connecting, the things they don't get, the fear that i didn't express it the right way. There's always the challenge of saying everything concise enough to not waste their time and the satisfaction that it was the right way to do it.

After my pregnancy loss I got to visit quite a bunch of medical offices and had all sorts of procedures done. I had good experiences and bad ones, excellent interactions and not so good ones. I got to feel listened and understood and I got to feel frustrated.

I am having fun profiling them: I like places where they display anatomy charts and calls for research studies rather then places where they display notices over notices about what they won't do: they don't make medical records copies for free, they don't accept x insurance, they don't fill in x form more than once a year, they don't accept checks, or credit, or cash, etc.

I saw places where they get you right away, where the doctor apologizes if they run late, where the doctor says he/she won't apologize for being late because he/she is taking his time with patients, where they know your medical history details, and where they don't even know basic facts about you or don't bother to look at the previous page in your chart to see when you were there last time or when you got blood work done. I saw places where they tell you what they are thinking, planning to do, and places where they wouldn't tell you almost anything but would then ask a million times if you are OK.

I think that they are all only humans trying to do their best in a pretty bad system. They could of course do better, but they are trying and progress is made despite all hardship.

I get to anticipate what's going on: I like to know the diagnostic beforehand, know what's next, know what the speech of the day will be about. The downside to this is the blood pressure monitor and the stethoscope: they get to measure my excitement without understanding the reason. My heart rate and my blood pressure run too high over there. Oh, all the fun I would have if they didn't have a blood pressure monitor!!!

For whatever it's worth, for me you are like Disneyland! So when's my next appointment?

1 comment:

Paul Levy said...

I love this entry!